Top 10 Tips For Sex Symbol Stardom
Are you a low-to-mid-level star waiting to break into the big time? Have you had trouble leveraging your ”interesting” looks into widely-recognized hotness? Have you considered going the route of the sex symbol? This list is for you, you animal.
10. Render Yourself Sexy
Are you a low-to-mid-level star waiting to break into the big time? Have you had trouble leveraging your ''interesting'' looks into widely-recognized hotness? Have you considered going the route of the sex symbol?
We offer you ten strategies to make yourself into one, leaving out ones you should already know about, like posing in Playboy, changing your name to something scary and going all S&M, and making a gross, grainy sex tape.
For example: Get your computer geek friends to make you a sexy video game character in an incredible video game. Then just go around as yourself. We're not completely sure this one will work, but considering how much time contemporary boys spend looking at (and, presumably dreaming of) the digitized bodies of Lara Croft, Jill Valentine, Chun Li, Samus, et al, this one's might just be the most forward-looking strategy of all.
Tune in as we undress pop culture's most beloved obsessions. Don't miss LOVE LUST | SEX SYMBOLS and more, Tuesdays at 10p.
9. Give Your Sexy Back
Do some well-publicized humanitarian or political activism. In our age of constant publicity stunts and instant coverage, every conscientious sex-symbol in the modern age needs a cause to complete them.
Bardot, Darryl Hannah, Jolie, Johansson, Bono, Sean Penn- just think how quickly we could change the world for the better if we all were a little more worried about becoming sex symbols! Adopting foreign children, though a lovely thing to do if you have the means, does not count somehow.
Tune in as we undress pop culture's most beloved obsessions. Don't miss LOVE LUST | SEX SYMBOLS and more, Tuesdays at 10p.
8. Knock Boots with SEALS
The biggest sex symbol story of 2011 is the Navy SEALs' successful elimination of Osama bin Laden. Now people can't get enough of all things Navy SEAL.
If they weren't already sexy after 1990s forgotten classic starring Charlie Sheen, Michael Biehn, and Dennis Haysbert, the spike in sales of whole series of romance novels, posters, and related merchandise since May 2 might give you some indication of what is waiting for you should you go out there and qualify for SEALness.
Tune in as we undress pop culture's most beloved obsessions. Don't miss LOVE LUST | SEX SYMBOLS and more, Tuesdays at 10p.
7. Run for Office
We know, it's out of left field (or right field, as the case may be), but we think we're on to something here. And we're not going to even mention countries like Italy and Brazil, where politicians often are sex symbols before they're in government.
Right here, in our own stodgy, puritanical political scene, we've got Scott Brown's shirtless photos, Sarah Palin's huge shopping bills, Chritine O'Donnell's zaniness, Anthony Weiner's undies, President Obama and Gavin Newsom looking beautiful in suits.
Maybe studying a joint session of Congress isn't a surefire ticket to the world's parade of hotness, but there are some babes in there.
Tune in as we undress pop culture's most beloved obsessions. Don't miss LOVE LUST | SEX SYMBOLS and more, Tuesdays at 10p.
6. Make Bad Music, Pump Iron
Recording awful pop songs just to be able to be in cheesy music videos that are little more than vehicles for showing off your killer bod seems to be an eternal ticket to sex-symboldom.
Marky Mark? The Pussycat Dolls? The Spice Girls? Color Me Bad? And our personal favorite, Samantha Fox, whose video for ''Naughty Girls Need Love Too'' is quite possibly the worst video ever made except that Samantha Fox is in every frame.
Tune in as we undress pop culture's most beloved obsessions. Don't miss LOVE LUST | SEX SYMBOLS and more, Tuesdays at 10p.
5. Kick a lot of Ass
Dozens of sex symbols have risen by beating the crap out of people on screen: Bruces Lee and Willis, Van Damme, Richard Rountree, Clint Eastwood. But for our money, nobody sets a better example than Pam Grier, whose toughness and resilience on and off screen make her a first-ballot hall of famer.
Tune in as we undress pop culture's most beloved obsessions. Don't miss LOVE LUST | SEX SYMBOLS and more, Tuesdays at 10p.
4. Marry Mick Jagger
Mick Jagger is still performing songs at a high level, if perhaps not really writing them anymore. But ladies, time's running out. Nobody lives forever. If you want to date or even marry Mick Jagger- like Marianne Faithful, Marsha Hunt, Bianca, Jerry Hall, L'Wren Scott, before you- you better get on it.
Tune in as we undress pop culture's most beloved obsessions. Don't miss LOVE LUST | SEX SYMBOLS and more, Tuesdays at 10p.
3. Spit in the Face of Pop Culture
Become a true threat to prudeness and chastity with a wild look and great art, as opposed to fake scary and fake challenging (a la Gaga or Marilyn Manson).
It worked for Lydia Lunch, Betty Page, Grace Jones, and Siouxie Sioux. Maybe you wouldn't call them classic sex symbols, but they certainly are ones that last.
Don't believe me? Have you checked out the cover of Island Life recently? Yeah. Whoa. Now go and listen to those songs. They rule.
Tune in as we undress pop culture's most beloved obsessions. Don't miss LOVE LUST | SEX SYMBOLS and more, Tuesdays at 10p.
2. Go Red Carpet Skimpy
Do something equivalent to wearing a bikini all over Cannes in the early 50s. We're not so sure what that would be in this day and age, and we are a little afraid to venture a guess, but in 1953, Brigitte Bardot was a little known actress in her native France. After she was photographed in a bikini though, in all her toothy, inviting sweetness, she became internationally adored. By men mostly.
Tune in as we undress pop culture's most beloved obsessions. Don't miss LOVE LUST | SEX SYMBOLS and more, Tuesdays at 10p.
1. Play a Male Vampire
This one's time-honored, one of the all time, fail safe ways of becoming a sex symbol (ok, maybe it didn't work for Chris Sarandon, Bela Lugosi, or Max Schreck), but just think of the modern day sexy men who have sucked some neck: Gary Oldman, Stephen Moyer, Robert Pattinson, David Boreanaz, Cruise, Pitt, Banderas, Sutherland, Wesley Snipes. Sorry Benicio del Torro, werewolves are a little too hairy.
Tune in as we undress pop culture's most beloved obsessions. Don't miss LOVE LUST | SEX SYMBOLS and more, Tuesdays at 10p.
