Top 10 Reasons Not To Love Jordan Catalano
If we could yell at our TV and have Angela Chase listen, these are the Top 10 reasons she should not crush so hard on Jordan Catalano.
#10. He Can't Read
I'm going to say this one more time because it's pretty important- the man cannot read. In this modern day and age, relationships are mostly based on text messages and Facebook posts.
I barely see the guys I want to make out with anymore, and I wouldn't know they existed if I didn't get some ''hey wat u up 2'' gchat message every once in a while.
How can you keep up a relationship through this generation of social networking if he can't read. Also, he should probably learn to do that sometime.
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#9. He'll Sleep With Your Best Friend
Oh yeah. The second you turn around he'll sleep with your sluttier best friend because you are too busy leaning against your locker and being a confused teenager to take off your skirt for him.
What a total Prince Charming!
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#8. He's 17
I mean, we're all a little old to be lusting after high school kids, don't you think? Don't you think we're all past this by now?
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#7. He's in a band
There is nothing more boring than dating a guy in a band. You have to go to his shows all the time, you have to pretend you like these shows, and you have to pretend to think his band is good.
We all know their bands are never good! I know it might be kind of cool to have a song written about you sometimes, but at the end of the day you're better off reading Shakespeare and not having to stand in some sticky venue for six hours.
Or having to help load equipment. Or watching groupies hit on your boyfriend.
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#6. He's in a cover band
He's not even going to end up writing a song about you, unless the Ramones have already written a song about you and you didn't know about it.
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#5. He wants to MAKE SNOW
Jordan's one career aspiration is to go up in the mountains and make snow for ski resorts. Which is literally just the job of a machine.
He wants to have the job of a machine. Which either makes him on the side of the cyborgs (a bad thing) or you're going to lead a very full life of eating only Ramen noodles and never having heat.
That just can't pay very well.
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#4. He wears chokers
Nothing good can come from man jewelry, and nobody should really wear chokers anymore.
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#3. He's really dumb
The whole show centers around the fact that he is not smart. He's been left back twice. He calls Angela Chase's cuticles ''half moons.'' He doesn't get sarcasm.
I am really questioning your maturity as an adult if this still makes him appealing to you.
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#2. He wants to make out in terrible places
Angela and him make out in the car, the boiler room, and an abandoned house. Nobody wants to lose their virginity in an abandoned house, because there could be so many ghosts there!
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#1. It Hurts To Open His Eyes
When we meet Jordan, Angela describes him as being attractive because it looks like it hurts to open his eyes.
And there you have it, ladies and gentleman: the dumbest reason in the world to be attracted to somebody.
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