Top 10 Reasons Gays Need Girls
Here are Bradford Shellhammer’s Top 10 Reasons Gays Need Girls — an exploration of true friendship.
10. Shoulders to cry on
Women are good criers. Just rent any chick flick and you'll know what I mean. So when life throws us gays a curve ball and we're feeling down and out we know you'll be there for us with a shoulder to cry on, sympathizing, not judging. That's what friends do: let us cry on your shoulder and then listen to you when you tell us it's going to be OK. We need you ladies for that especially.
9. Handbags
Whether a bear, an athlete, or a screaming queen, a gay man who says he does not appreciate a handbag is a liar. Swear! Secretly, butch or not, we all long to carry one. Right? Right!? So we love seeing your bag obsessions and tagging along with you on your shopping trips or bidding for that Marc Jacobs on eBay for you when you're tied up at work. Just remember to let us hold them here and there as we're really jealous.
8. Their bathrooms
Gay men love women because we have no issue using a women's restroom and at many a restaurant or club we may do just that if there is a line to get in the men's. Besides, yours always has more room, less piss on the floor, and better mirrors. So get used to it, we're coming in there with you.
7. They're romantics
Women are emotional and romantic and expect the men in their lives to be the same. To court them. To show them respect. And having girls in our lives helps us to be better men, even if we're gay. We should all be more emotional. We should all feel deeply. And we should all write poetry and surprise our lovers and play a fool in love. Girls help remind us to do those little things.
6. They share our crushes
Growing up we lusted after the same childhood stars our girlfriends did. Yesterday's George Michael crush is today's Justin Beiber crush. And while I think more and more gay kid's straight male classmates are becoming more accepting, we still need our girlfriends to talk, endlessly, about this week's puppy love. You girls crush just as hard as we do.
5. Sometimes we may need a beard
Face it. In this world, even today, sometimes we need a date. A female date. And while I hope more and more that times we need to "fake it" disappear, one thing remains: we may need you for the occasional wedding or work function.
4. Girls dance better
We may go out with the guys to dance. But whether we do country western line dancing or throw our shirts off at a disco, gay guys love taking a girl out. We can bend and twirl you in ways other gays only imagine. And where we dress for comfort you go for fashion. You always make us look better during a night out on the town.
3. Our icons are girls
You can call it cliche, but yes, almost all gay icons are women. Whether Judy Garland or Lady Gaga or the more obscure ones, like Siouxsie Sioux or Patti Smith, we love a girl with something to say or something to sing. We're smitten by strong women. They've inspired us forever.
2. Our mothers are girls
Doh! We need girls because we need our mothers and yes, uh-huh all mom's are girls. Gays love their moms and we love having them in our lives. We'll always have a soft spot in our hearts for our #1 girl: Mom!
1. Girls make us laugh
Gays need girls to make us laugh. You were our first friends in grade school and you always knew we were a little different, but you did not care. You just wanted a friend to make you laugh, as did we. While men can be too intense, gay or straight, women appreciate the carefree. We look forward to our shared giggles.
