Top 10 Merciless Spicy Foods
These foods are too hot to handle and too delicious to put down!
10. Sriracha
I don't dare claim that these ten foods are the spiciest in existence; I only claim that they have scarred my lips and charred my tongue in ways I can't -and won't- forget. They may be mundane to many, a snooze for iron-plated stomachs, but this list is my highway to the danger zone. Please pass the ice, man.
Do NOT mistake for ketchup!
Hungry for more? Tune in for a cross-country road trip with celebrity Chef Ludo Lefebvre as he reinvents American cuisine. LUDO BITES AMERICA, premiering Tuesday, July 19 at 9p.9. Terroni's Peperoncini Piccanti
They look innocent enough, and in small quantities (like one silky strand per bite) the hot peppers from the Canadian-export, Los Angeles-based Italian eatery are magnificent - slightly sweet and steaming with a sultry heat that awakens every sense and enlivens every taste bud. So it's easy to get tempted to heap a few more strands on that next knob o' bread or pizza. If one strand is good, a whole spoonful must be even better, right? Right???? Wrong. Very, very wrong.
Hungry for more? Tune in for a cross-country road trip with celebrity Chef Ludo Lefebvre as he reinvents American cuisine. LUDO BITES AMERICA, premiering Tuesday, July 19 at 9p.8. Compartes' Mexican Hot Chocolate Truffle
I can handle chocolate in almost any form. Guinness-flavored chocolate? Bring it. Chocolate laced with lemongrass? Heck to the yes. I've even been known to wash down my dark chocolate covered almonds with coke. Not just because it's there and I'm thirsty, but because I actually enjoy the combination. The more sugar the merrier. I should have known when I saw the skull and cross bones on the immaculate dark chocolate truffle from Los Angeles chocolatier Compartes that I was in trouble. In my sick, four-year-old, pixie-stickisized world, chocolate should not be spicy. Chocolate should not make one's throat burn. Chocolate should not make one's eyes tear up. I love Compartes' other flavors, but this one had me reaching for the coke for an entirely different reason.
Hungry for more? Tune in for a cross-country road trip with celebrity Chef Ludo Lefebvre as he reinvents American cuisine. LUDO BITES AMERICA, premiering Tuesday, July 19 at 9p.7. Teaism's Chai
Some people like their chai spicy -teeming with a cacophony of cardamom, cloves, ginger, cinnamon, maybe even a little star anise. You know, authentic chai. From like, India. I do not. So when I took my first sip of Washington DC's beloved Teaism's chai (the best, according to some sources), my mouth was primed for the syrupy, calorically dense chai that I love. Instead, I was bum-rushed with spices jangling loudly on my tongue like metallic keys and I so wanted to spit it out. But I didn't. I drank the entire cup, nodding at my friend to assure her that, yes, I too thought it was the best chai EVER. Because clearly I couldn't let on that I actually prefer it when it tastes like condensed milk, that I prefer chai that's been dumbed down for the masses. I've never been so thankful I ordered a small in my life.
Hungry for more? Tune in for a cross-country road trip with celebrity Chef Ludo Lefebvre as he reinvents American cuisine. LUDO BITES AMERICA, premiering Tuesday, July 19 at 9p.6. Buffalo Wing Pretzel Crisps
The problem with these flavored pretzel crisps isn't that they're unnecessarily, overbearingly spicy. The problem is that they're in that middle ground of hot -well-seasoned, but not quite hot enough to make eating an entire seven-ounce bag in one sitting an impossible feat. The tangy orange powder coats the back of the tongue so that the manufactured buffalo wing flavor surges forth with renewed vigor after every bite. Salivation ensues, cured only by the constant influx of more pretzel crisps. And suddenly the bag is empty. There's guilt. Orange stained fingers and lips. And even then, as I sit there feeling dirty and ashamed, I still kinda want more.
Hungry for more? Tune in for a cross-country road trip with celebrity Chef Ludo Lefebvre as he reinvents American cuisine. LUDO BITES AMERICA, premiering Tuesday, July 19 at 9p.5. Real Food Daily's "Hunk of Burning Love"
"It's got a little kick," our server at vegan hot spot Real Food Daily in Los Angeles said when I asked her about the special that evening. I wanted to believe her, wanted to believe that it was good spicy as opposed to stomach-grating, I-need-a-fire-extinguisher-for-my-internal-organs spicy. It sounded so promising on paper - kung pao tempeh and vegetables with pineapple fried rice, stir-fried vegetables, and toasted cashews. I looooove cashews. And I so wanted to love the "Hunk of Burning Love." One glass of wine and four refills of water later, I reached my tipping point. The little kick was not so little. And it was not a "Hunk of Burning Love" - more like a "Hunk of Burning Hate."
Hungry for more? Tune in for a cross-country road trip with celebrity Chef Ludo Lefebvre as he reinvents American cuisine. LUDO BITES AMERICA, premiering Tuesday, July 19 at 9p.
4. A slab of raw ginger that you mistake for a potato.
I was raised to love potatoes. My mom, who reigns from Sioux Falls, South Dakota and was dubbed "spud" by her college friends, pimped them out to my brothers and me like PB&J. So I get a little excited when I see a potato in an unexpected place, like say a Thai stir fry, nestled in between the green beans and blades of basil like hidden treasure. "A potato!" I thought as I stabbed it with my fork and popped it into my mouth, expecting to be hit with the comfortingly mealy texture that I grew up to adore. Instead, I was blasted with a pungent mouthful of unwelcome heat and spice that leapt up my nose and scorched all other flavors formerly present in my mouth. You'd probably think I'd have learned my lesson long ago, but it still gets me. Every. Single. Time.
Hungry for more? Tune in for a cross-country road trip with celebrity Chef Ludo Lefebvre as he reinvents American cuisine. LUDO BITES AMERICA, premiering Tuesday, July 19 at 9p.3. Jitlada's Laam Talum Pook
"There's no way this is the mild version," we said as we guzzled our water and gasped for air at Jitlada Thai, which is widely considered the best and spiciest Thai restaurant in Los Angeles. One bite of the "wild curry" catfish with eggplant and green beans was far more than our timid tongues could handle. We surrendered our forks and begged for mercy in the form of crisp shards of lettuce, cucumbers and mounds of sticky rice, but nothing would stop the burning. "They had to have made a mistake. There's no way that was mild," we kept saying over and over again. But the bill revealed the sad truth. It was, indeed, the mild version, and we were all a bunch of wusses.
Hungry for more? Tune in for a cross-country road trip with celebrity Chef Ludo Lefebvre as he reinvents American cuisine. LUDO BITES AMERICA, premiering Tuesday, July 19 at 9p.
2. Tinga's Salsa Habanero
When you order the cochinita pibil tacos at Tinga, a popular, casual Mexican joint in Los Angeles, the server at the counter will ask you if you want the salsa habanero that comes with it on the side. If you say "no," he will ask you again. If you continue to say "no" he may even ask you a third time -just to be absolutely, positively sure. Because nobody in their right mind orders the tacos with the salsa habanero on them. The pinhead-sized drop I massaged onto my taco the one time I dared to dabble in that land mine of feast and fury in a cup, landed like arsenic on my tongue. I cried out in pain. The server nodded at me from across the room. His eyes said it all. Always order the salsa habanero on the side.
Hungry for more? Tune in for a cross-country road trip with celebrity Chef Ludo Lefebvre as he reinvents American cuisine. LUDO BITES AMERICA, premiering Tuesday, July 19 at 9p.
1. Atomic Fireballs
I was six, maybe seven when it happened. A lazy day at the beach with my older brothers, mom and family friends turned not so lazy when the words "contest" and "Atomic Fireballs" entered the conversation. We each dug a hole in the sand, climbed in, and instructed our moms to bury us up to our necks so none of us could move. I liked that part and found it ridiculously funny that all of our heads were lined up in a row, just peeking out of the sand. "Look at me, mom!" I shrieked with glee, but the giggles and glee didn't last long. There's no heat like the heat of an Atomic Fireball searing into the unblemished tongue of a child who can't remove it with her hands. Sputtering for relief, I spit my fireball out after just 20 seconds. It stared back at me like an angry eyeball from its place on the sand right in front of me. I haven't had a fireball since and I still sort of hate the beach.
Hungry for more? Tune in for a cross-country road trip with celebrity Chef Ludo Lefebvre as he reinvents American cuisine. LUDO BITES AMERICA, premiering Tuesday, July 19 at 9p.
