Top 10 Film Inventions We Wish Were Real
If self-lacing shoes and and breakfast machines were real, our world would be a much better place!
10. Men In Black - Neuralizer
Have you ever said something that you immediately regretted saying? Or perhaps you’ve made a huge mistake and you’d like to take it back? Better still, are there aliens running amok and you want to make sure no one finds out? This is precisely why the neuralizer from Men In Black - that silver pen-looking thing with the red light - needs to exist in real life.
Can you imagine what it would be like to wield that power? Before noon on the first day of its release, half the world would have lost their memories under some weird circumstances that they couldn’t explain. Consider befriending Will Smith and just pray that you’re on the right side of the neuralizing.
Anyone can be the next great inventor. Watch QUIRKY, Fridays at 10p.9. Tron - The Grid
If you went to the world’s coolest week-long rave, it wouldn’t be nearly as cool as spending even one hour just chilling on the grid, particularly if that one hour was spent in the company of Michael Sheen and Daft Punk.
Even if its existence and its purpose are still unclear to the less science-minded types, the grid is a place that should really be real. An endless bounty of humor presents itself when we think of what it’d be like to go bowling on the grid or to play Twister on the grid or to have a friendly neighborhood barbecue on the grid.
Anyone can be the next great inventor. Watch QUIRKY, Fridays at 10p.
Author: Dayna Evans8. Back to the Future - Self-lacing Shoes/Hoverboard
It would have been too damn obvious to say we wished that the flux capacitor were real. Of course we do. We want it more than anything in the world. But let’s slow down for a second and start small. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just have some shoes that tied themselves and a hoverboard to ride on?
The technology for both of those things has to exist already, but no one is utilizing it for our benefit. Just this month, McFly’s infamous sneakers were redesigned and put on sale in extreme limited quantities—but without the self-lacing element. Nike has already patented a design for an autolacing shoe, so one can only hope we’ll see them become a reality before 2015. Now . . . who’s working on the hoverboard design?
Anyone can be the next great inventor. Watch QUIRKY, Fridays at 10p.
Author: Dayna Evans7. Pineapple Express - The Cross Joint
Okay, so this could probably exist. After some basic Google searches, you would be stunned to see that stoners are far more industrious than you’d initially expect. In fact, it seems like the phenomenon of the cross joint goes far back, much further back than even Pineapple Express, like a Tolkien legend that never was.
However, what we’d really like to see exist is not just any cross joint, but the cross joint rolled by the hands of James Franco. The high from that joint might turn us into triple-PhD students/soap opera actors/authors/installation artists, as well. It’s worth a shot, no?
Anyone can be the next great inventor. Watch QUIRKY, Fridays at 10p.
Author: Dayna Evans6. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory - Every single invention
Watching the original Charlie and the Chocolate Factory for the first time brings up a lot of thoughts when you’re a kid. Though a slight portion of those thoughts have to do with why Gene Wilder is so funny-looking and why Charlie’s grandparents’ limbs don’t atrophy from staying in bed all day, most of them are in regards to whether or not all the great stuff in the movie is real.
While we’re aware of the consequences of a three-course meal made only of bubblegum, we sure wouldn’t mind have a taste of a fizzy lifting drink or a lick of Wonka’s lickable wallpaper. In retrospect, the everlasting gobstopper wasn’t that great in comparison to all the other delights in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory.
I don’t know about you, but I’d take Wonkavision over a gobstopper pretty much any day of the week.
Anyone can be the next great inventor. Watch QUIRKY, Fridays at 10p.
Author: Dayna Evans5. Honey, I Shrunk the Kids - Electro-Magnetic Shrink Ray
Oh the hilarity of turning your kids into near-invisible shrunken versions of themselves! This movie will forever be one of my favorite science-humor movies of all time, especially because Rick Moranis’s girly voice never gets old. It would be rendered three times as amazing if only the shrink ray actually existed.
An oft-utilized invention in film, the shrink ray is a tool that one we’ve all hoped and dreamed would be real by now. We could all be riding around on dogs like horses and swimming in a pool of cereal milk by, if only science would advance a little faster.
Anyone can be the next great inventor. Watch QUIRKY, Fridays at 10p.
Author: Dayna Evans4. Pee-wee’s Big Adventure - Breakfast Machine
It goes without saying that breakfast is the best meal of the day. Dinner and lunch are great, especially if lunch is some variety of meatball sub, but breakfast can consist of everything from pancakes to omelets to toast fried in eggs so it automatically wins all. Given that information, it’s easy to see why Pee-wee Herman has it made in the shade: In Pee-wee’s Big Adventure, a machine makes breakfast for him!
That is what everyone’s wildest dreams are made of. The real mystery, however, is that when breakfast is ready and Pee-wee sits down to eat, he instead takes two bites of Mr. T cereal and leaves a perfectly good pancake, bacon, and eggs behind. It looks like the breakfast machine has been put in the wrong hands.
Anyone can be the next great inventor. Watch QUIRKY, Fridays at 10p.
Author: Dayna Evans3. Wallace and Gromit's A Close Shave - Knit-O-Matic
While nearly every invention of Wallace’s ultimately fails and turns evil on him, it still doesn’t stop us from wanting to see some of them created in reality. The feature invention of A Close Shave is the Knit-O-Matic, a machine in which you insert a sheep (yes, a sheep) and through a number of steps, out comes a sweater and an unharmed yet unadorned sheep.
There would be nothing more amazing in the wintertime than if you were really cold one night and instead of pulling out a boring itchy sweater from your drawer, you were able to throw a sheep into a machine and have a sweater knitted for you from scratch.
The logistical aspect of where one would get a sheep unless they lived on a farm is still in the works, but otherwise, the Knit-O-Matic could be a raging success countrywide. I promise.
Anyone can be the next great inventor. Watch QUIRKY, Fridays at 10p.
Author: Dayna Evans2. The Fifth Element - Flying Taxi Cab
The world created for The Fifth Element looks generally like a place where none of us would like to live, especially those of us who are claustrophobic (I mean, Willis practically lives in a sardine can). However, for all city-dwellers out there, it certainly would be nice to get a ride in a flying taxi once and a while. Think of the possibilities.
You’re trying to impress your date, it’s raining, and every cab is taken. All of a sudden, Bruce Willis flies down to street level in his magical flying taxi and you get swept away with the woman of your dreams. And then an alien chick with orange hair and white overalls breaks into the car and ruins everything. End scene.
Anyone can be the next great inventor. Watch QUIRKY, Fridays at 10p.
Author: Dayna Evans1. Inception - Inception
The scene in Inception where little collegiate Ellen Page turns Paris into a giant insaneo upside-down land is exactly why the act of inception needs to be real. It could be argued that the snowed-out scene in Cillian Murphy’s fortress-like third-level mind serves to prove that inception maybe shouldn’t be real.
Either way, I doubt anyone would ever think that it wouldn’t be awesome, if only for a short while, to mess with somebody’s brain while they slept really deeply. We’ve all secretly hoped for that possibility at some point in our lives—Christopher Nolan only made it feel more realistic by having the inceptors (is this the correct terminology?) be sexy men in suits.
And to be honest, even if Marillon Cotillard was floating around our dreamscapes with a knife and those dead, creepy eyes, that might even be okay too.
Anyone can be the next great inventor. Watch QUIRKY, Fridays at 10p.
Author: Dayna Evans
