Don’t eat any garlic for at least 72 hours beforehand.
Don’t give blood for at least a month beforehand: you’ll need all your reserves.
Get your blood work done beforehand and make sure you bring condoms: while the undead can’t give you any STDs, infections you might have (especially blood-borne infections) can make for an unpleasant experience for your vampire.
Remove any cross necklaces.
Avoid aggressive French kissing, lest you nick your tongue on their teeth (if you’ve ever bitten your own tongue, you’ll understand how painful this can be).
Request that your biting coincide with an orgasm — the rush of endorphins will help ease any pain, plus your increased heart rate will feel extra nice to your vampire.
Audible moaning to show you’re enjoying this pleasure-pain is always appreciated by a vampire.
Make sure you pack a snack (like a juice box and cookies) to eat immediately afterward to help with any wooziness.
Expect to be kicked out before sun up, and don’t take it personally.
Have a turtleneck or scarf on hand to wear home.
*For those of you one newt’s eye short of a witch’s brew, the above is Halloween fiction and is not intended as actual sex advice. You should not be breaking skin or letting anyone break your skin during sex: gentle hickeys are the best you can hope for. Happy Halloween!
I’m someone who definitely kisses and tells. I have been all my life and usually it turns my partners red with embarrassment and sometimes red with anger. Additionally, I’ve never been popular with guys who seek “discretion” when hooking up. FYI: “discretion” is code word for “I have a boyfriend.” I am really dangerous to those guys.
Even though I am happily partnered now I still can imagine what it must be like to with a click of an iPhone being able to share my sexual conquests with the world. Part Twitter and part Loopt, the technology of I Just Made Love (mentioned earlier by Em and Lo) allows you to brag about those encounters. You can choose the city, street, and even building you got laid in. And of course you can choose the position.
It’s for the voyeur who wants to know what others are doing and where they’re doing it. And, of course, how they’re doing it.
This is one of my favorite music videos I’ve seen all week. Slightly NSFW, Saman Keshavarz directed this sexy concept for Cinnamon Chasers’ catchy song “Luv Deluxe.” Shot in HD first-person POV, watch closely as the viewer is presented with three different scenarios of a road trip, which correspond to different personalities.
Ever wonder how sexy your city is? Well, if you’re based in the UK, you have a chance to find out: UK sex toy retailer LoveHoney has created the UK Sex Map, which uses data on sex-related spending to determine just how sexy different townships are.
For example: the people of red hot Upminster spends 10.8 times the national average on their sex lives overall, with 16.5 times the amount of spending on adult DVDs alone; the cold fish of Ongar clock in at a measly 0.2 times the national average (note to self: cancel romantic getaway to Ongar).
Granted, there’s no proof that there’s a direct relationship between how much you spend on sex and, ahem, how good you are at it, but it’s still interesting to see how the data shakes out. In fact, it’s making us wonder how sexy our own city is…US Sex Map, anyone?
Years ago, we were part of the team that created Nerve.com’s Position of the Day. The challenge was coming up with the positions; the fun was coming up with the names: “The Quasimodo,” “The Wet Blanket,” the “I Can See My House from Here.” So we were really curious about the Snuggie Sutra, a website listing the various sexual positions you can get into while wearing (and sharing) a Snuggie. (Their tagline: “You have a Snuggie. You have sex. This was inevitable.”) It had promise: the illustrations are cute and some of the descriptions are good (”The Tablecloth [pictured above] — She lies on the table. He wears the Snuggie on his front while the bottom end covers her. It’s just not a holiday without stuffing”). But it ends after a measly 12 entries! Weak. Try coming up with 365 positions for a page-a-day calendar, then we’ll talk. (Of course, this begs the question: do we really want to go through 365 Snuggie Sutra entries? We got the joke — and our fill — by about 10.)
I don’t mean to encroach on our lovely Em and Lo’s territory, but I had to share this neat chandelier available at Culver City, California’s Sundayland. This 26” by 26” chandelier, the “Sylvia” is built from silver plastic vibrators and is sure to “turn on any room.”
There isn’t better proof that an active, healthy, happy sex life keeps you looking young and vibrant than Betty Dodson, the great American sex educator who basically invented sex-positive feminism and almost single-handedly made masturbation okay for women. She turns 80 today — and doesn’t look a day over 60! It could also be the fact that she’s been known to date people 40+ years her junior. Or maybe what keeps her young is simply her super, super sweet nature (we met her at a Society for the Scientific Study of Sex conference in Vegas — natch! — and she was a ray of sunshine, attracting fans like bees to light). She’s in the process of creating her memoir online, via installments of text and video, with her web partner Carlin Ross (the younger one in the videos). Check out DodsonAndRoss.com. But don’t let the sweet, grey-haired exterior fool you — Betty will tell you stories that will make you blush with shock and/or envy.
We all know that sex can sell anything from clothes to cars to chewing gum–but what about a chewing gum that’s trying to sell sex?
Sexlets is being marketed as a gum with a special blend of ingredients that, ahem, helps with male sexual enhancement. Odd as it may seem, it’s not the only confectionary item being marketed to men with some sexual insecurity: London’s Icecremists will soon be offering a Sex Pistol “vicecream.” Yes, that’s an ice cream complete with sex enhancing ingredients like gingko biloba, arginine and guarana…and it’ll only run you £11.99.
We never thought we’d say this…but we kinda miss the days of good old fashioned Horny Goat Weed.
image by King Chimp, from “Nosferatu”
Ever wonder how sexy your city is? Well, if you’re based in the UK, you have a chance to find out: UK sex toy retailer LoveHoney has created the UK Sex Map, which uses data on sex-related spending to determine just how sexy different townships are.
