photo from Porn for Women

It’s long been a given in the sex advice biz that dudes who break out the vacuum cleaner every once in a while are more likely to get laid. We typically fight such Men-are-from-Mars-Women-are-from-Venus stereotypes, but we’ve heard too much anecdotal evidence to ignore this one. It’s not that watching a man iron is an actual turn-on — though there are exceptions, of course — but more that many women find it hard to get in the mood for sex if they’re annoyed that their partner isn’t pulling his weight in the domestic chores department. For these women, accessing the libido is a matter of clearing the deck of all potential distractions — clutter in the room, to-do lists, a buzzing Blackberry, body image issues, dirty dishes, petty spousal frustrations, etc.

But it turns out that it’s not just guys who should mop a little more often: A new study has found that, for men and women alike, the more housework you do, the more likely you are to have sex with your partner. In other words, the couple who shares chores together is more likely to swap spit (and more), too. Perhaps this is because sharing chores indicates mutual respect and a commitment to the “team,” or perhaps it’s a feng-shui thing where a clean and tidy house is more conducive to boot-knocking. Whatever it is, it’s good news — almost good enough to make us forget about the other statistic in the study: that the women spent an average of 41.8 hours on household chores each week, while the men spent an average of 23.4 hours. And this despite the fact that “chores” in this study included yard work, paying bills, and maintaining cars. Maybe once these numbers balance out a bit more, we’ll finally achieve coital harmony. Hey, two advice ladies can dream.

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It seems like everyone right now is talking about that new book Why Women Have Sex, by Cindy Meston and David Buss. Apparently lots of women reported having sex to keep the peace, to stave off boredom, to relieve a headache, or to get their husbands to take out the trash (oh, yeah, and occasionally because they’re in the mood, too). And everyone’s acting like it’s this huge deal that 100% of the women didn’t say that, 100% of the time, they have sex because they’re so turned on they can’t think straight. Sure, sometimes women have sex for fairly unsexy reasons…and sometimes they have sex for more, shall we say, honorable ones — which includes, but isn’t limited to, being so turned on they can’t think straight Here are 10 (and please, add your own reasons in the comments section below!):

1. Because you’re horny. (Duh.)
2. Because even if you’re not in the mood, 99.9% of the time you get in the mood once you start.
3. Because it’s (almost) impossible to argue while having sex.
4. Because you just received the most amazing 30-minute back-rub and your partner didn’t even try to segue the massage into sex.
5. Because your partner is hot stuff.
6. Because you still remember thinking there’s no way this person would ever look twice at you…and then they did.
7. Because orgasms are an excellent stress reliever.
8. Because you’ve got a partner who makes sure you always orgasm first, who doesn’t expect it to happen from intercourse, and who doesn’t immediately roll over after he’s spent.
9. Because your neighbors are really annoying and you want to do it loudly to remind them that you have a better sex life than they do.
10. Because sex with someone you love is (to paraphrase one-time Quaker Oats spokesman Wilford Brimley) the right thing to do and a tasty way to do it.

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photo by audreyjm529

It seems like every few years, someone comes out with a study about what percentage of the population would choose a good night’s sleep over sex. The studies are usually sponsored by a mattress company, or a pharmaceutical firm developing non-addictive (riiiiight) sleeping pills, or — as in the most recent case — a chain of hotels with extremely comfortable beds. The study, funded by Westin Hotels, found that 51% of Americans surveyed would choose sleep over sex (as we mentioned here earlier this week). It sounds much less depressing if you put it the other way: 49% of us would still sacrifice sleep for a bit of raucous boot-knocking, aw yeah. But it sounds much more depressing when you learn that a decade ago, a massive 69% (heh) of those surveyed said they’d choose sex over sleep.

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photo by davidgljay

A recent article by the director of a new documentary about asexuality reminded us that “asexual” is one of those terms that gets thrown around in casual conversation so much that it’s easy to forget what it really means (kind of like “passive-aggressive”). So here’s a brief primer for you.

1. Asexuality is not a choice. Celibacy is a choice; asexuality is a sexual orientation, just like being straight or gay.
2. The official definition of asexuality is “someone who does not experience sexual attraction.” (Being too tired to have sex or too closeted to have the kind of sex you really want doesn’t count.)
3. Being asexual doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t masturbate. Many asexuals have a sex drive, it just doesn’t translate into wanting sex with someone else.
4. Being asexual doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t experience attraction, either — it just means you just don’t feel the need to act on it sexually.
5. When Kinsey created his scale of sexual orientation, where 0 was completely homosexual and 6 was completely heterosexual, he included a separate category, “X,” for those who weren’t either one — or anything in between. They just plain didn’t care about sex. He labeled 1.5% of adult males “X”.
6. A 1994 study found that 1.05% of respondents had “never felt sexually attracted to anyone at all.”
7. A 1982 survey of Playboy readers found that 2% of respondents were asexual.
8. A larger proportion of women than men identify as asexual.
9. Another study found that 33.57% of asexuals have problems with self-esteem.
10. According to Asexuality.org, because asexuals don’t care about sex, they generally don’t see their lack of sexual arousal as a problem that needs fixing: “Asexual people are fine not having sex; if you think that your lack of interest in sex is a problem then you should consult a doctor or therapist.”

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