sundance

Top 10 most realistic sex scenes of the year

What makes a sex scene great — at least in our opinion — is when there is some genuine realism in it: maybe heads get bonked or tears are shed or body parts fail or giggles erupt. Call it skinéma vérité. Anyway, we hear there is some big, film awards show coming up this weekend, so we decided to honor a few of our favorite, most realistic sex scenes of the past year. These clips are the real deal, so use protection!

Here are some free jokes for Billy Crystal

Last year’s Academy Awards telecast awkwardly tried for laughs, but most critics felt the only real joke was that the show got on the air at all. Well, it’s a whole new year, with fresh chances for button pushing and laugh grabbing. And bravely returning for his ninth hosting gig, Billy Crystal is just the man who can save the extravaganza from having to add a laugh track.

Billy’s always been a regular riot—but just in case he needs a little help with his material, I’m here to provide a bunch of topically hilarious one-liners completely gratis, to guarantee that he uncovers comic gold rather than step in tragic ick. All I ask in return is a gift bag and five tickets to the after party. All right, four.

FYIVOD for the week of February 24th

The world of film is changing. For one thing, there’s not much actual film anymore. The future is digital; more and more, it’s streaming on our computers, too. Every week in FYIVOD, we survey the landscape online movies to bring you a snapshot of what’s available.

THIS WEEK’S THEME: Mumblecore

The Review Revue: BULLHEAD

In “The Review Review,” we turn dozens of movie reviews from all over the Internet into one handy blog post. It’s like super-concentrated orange juice for film criticism (with less pulp and Vitamin D). This week: we find out whether critics had a cow over BULLHEAD.

Let’s just Parade, babe…

When I think of Eastern Europe I think of painfully beautiful lithe young men with carefree attitudes about the adult film industry, engaging in gloriously erotic scenarios that have turned them into gay celebrities across the globe. The Bel Ami boys, for example. You can pop into a café from Chelsea to Castro and engage in a discussion with a complete stranger on the subject. Conversely, I’ve come to think of aggressive homophobia and street beatings tacitly condoned by the Serbian Orthodox Church. I’m guessing their dogma leads its followers in prayer, something to the key of, “Dear Jesus, beat them. Amen.”

At the Oscars, it’s hip to be square

The Los Angeles Times just posted a massive investigation into the demographics of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, the 5,765 largely anonymous voters who every year decide who will receive the highly coveted and ultra-influential Oscars. Their findings, which will come as a shock to no one who has watched the Oscars at any point in the last 25 years, revealed a membership that is very old and very uncool. 94% of Academy voters are white; 77% are male. 54% are over the age of 60; just 2% are under the age of 40.

Is it an embarrassment that the Academy is as lily white as a 1950s country club? Absolutely. Is it an outrage that the Academy boasts more men than a Congressional hearing about birth control? You betcha. But that’s not important right now. What is important is this: the Oscars are days away. You’re ready to fill out your ballot. So rather than protest the geriatric, ultra-Caucasian state of the Academy, use their mistakes to your advantage. If you’re gonna want to win your office’s pool on Sunday you need to think old, white, and boring. Look deep within your heart, and pick the movie that your least artistically inclined relative would vote for. Let’s go through the six major categories and pick out the hip choice and the square choice. You ready? Let’s go.