sundance

Has Anyone Said This Sh*t? (Yes.)

Not since Rebecca Black have I seen a meme go from hilarious to amusing to downright-shoot-me-annoying as quickly as the seemingly neverending “Shit [People] Say” videos. Jumpstarted seemingly centuries ago with a little celebrity juice thanks to the involvement of Juliette Lewis, the meme was birthed with this video titled “Shit Girls Say.” By now you’ve seen this and all the countless copycats. If you’ve been pulling a Rip Van Winkle who just woke up and have no idea what we’re talking about, what I’m referring to are series of viral videos which are basically a supercut of stereotypical expressions and phrase associated with different groups (not without some controversy). People quickly tired of them and vocally expressed their annoyance on Facebook or Twitter, but were quick to retweet and share any new variation that happened to fit their particular niche or interests: for example, as soon as the “Shit New Yorkers Say” video hit the web, it seemed as though every single one of my New Yorker friends posted it on Facebook (often right after having stated their irritation of these videos only the day before). For you Van Winkle’s here’s a sampling of others:

Agenda 21: First, they came for the light bulbs

Remember when threats of a global government were symbolized by black helicopters and implied by the phrase “New World Order.” They’re so 20th century, it turns out: these days, the phrase “Agenda 21″ and compact fluorescent light bulbs are the new signs of “They’re coming to get you.”

Agenda 21 – it does sound a little spooky. You might think of it as a plan for world domination cooked up by a cabal of wealthy evildoers in a dark backroom. In truth, it’s much more innocuous: Agenda 21 is the title of a non-binding plan released at the 1992 Conference on Environment and Development in Rio. No secrets or backrooms here: Agenda 21 even has its own UN website.

A comedian that will melt your liberal bleeding heart

We both enjoy playing Texas Hold ‘Em, but of the two of us, I (Lo) enjoy it a little too much. So much so that when I just need a night away from it all, I go to Foxwoods to play the low limit table with a bunch of 65 year old men, half of whom have a drinking problem, the other half of whom have a gambling problem. It’s not as sinful or sexy as Vegas, naturally, but it does the trick.

This week’s top 5 trending viral videos

If you’re completely sick of all the coverage leading up to the Super Bowl, I’m here to provide you with some relief (9 out of 10 bloggers recommend it) with this week’s YouTube videos that seem to be gaining steam on the viral Internet train.

5. From the hilarious minds of one of my favorite channels on YouTube is this catchy and easy-to-sing song “Hapi Berth Dey.” It’s “about an Egyptian river god who finds a place to sleep atop two sheep” that also possibly doubles as an expression of his outrage of the misappropriation of copyright laws which legally also applies to a popular song traditionally sung to celebrate birthdays. Feel free to sing this new song coincidentally at your next birthday party!

It’s you, perfected!

There are many reasons not to read women’s magazines. One of the biggies? All the retouched photos. The genetic mutants we call models and celebrities can beat the shit out your average Jane’s self image, but Photoshop can chop it up with chainsaw. This before and after cover of Red Book from a few years ago thanks to Jezebel.com says it all. In fact, Jezebel has made one of their crusades exposing the evils of Photoshop (here’s their most recent “unveiling”). One of the funniest commentaries on how fucked up Photoshop is when it comes to setting impossible beauty standards is this recent parody of a beauty product commercial by Jesse Rosten on Vimeo: “Just one application of Fotoshop can give you results so dramatic, they’re almost unreal…istic.”

The Internet’s Super Bowl preview

The country can be divided this week into those who care about the Super Bowl and those that don’t. I unfortunately fall into the former category in a big way as my favorite team somehow did its part to find itself one of two teams standing at the end of the season. Unfortunate because I’m so freaking nervous for this game, especially since I’m in unfriendly territory as a Patriots fan (Go Pats!) in NYC . Thankfully the Internet, as it always does, has been providing some levity leading into this weekend to help calm my nerves.

• Tom Brady (or as some readers might know him better as: Gisele Bündchen’s husband) has a doppelgänger. No word yet on whether the doppelgänger has also has a Gisele lookalike wife.
• Matthew Broderick explains a bit about his Ferris Bueller teaser that only just ended up being a Super Bowl ad and in the process broke our hearts about a possible sequel. Then again maybe a sequel isn’t a good thing after all after seeing how the actual ad depicts a free-spirited Ferris growing up to just be yet another office worker serving the The Man. Yikes, depressing stuff.

Revitalizing the mentor

History is filled with stories of inspiring mentor-protégé relationships, from XX and the painters Camille Pissaro and Paul Cezanne to fictional accounts like Don Pedro and Claudio in Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing. Mentorships are a time-tested way to for an artist to develop their vision and their craft. They, traditionally, give someone time learn, grow and create under the watchful eye of someone who has already blazed a trail.

Rolex is dedicating to reviving the tradition of mentorship by pairing young, promising artists with leaders in their fields. It’s easy to see what the protégés have to gain. They get a year of time to learn from their mentors. But, a truely successful mentor-protégé relationship benefits both parties. As we take a look back at the results of these exciting relationships, let’s take a look at what some of the Rolex Arts Initiative mentors have gotten out of their year collaboration:

Here’s what the Oscars can learn from NYC nightlife pageants!

This year’s Oscar telecast (set for February 26) has been on a hopeful track ever since they announced that an actual comic was going to be the host.

But even Billy Crystal can only do so much. All the stuff around him needs to be spruced up pronto to ensure that the whole Oscar machine doesn’t become as obsolete as silent movies (except for THE ARTIST, of course).

And I know the answer.

For a lifeline, the producers need to venture into New York’s wildest nightclubs and learn some valuable lessons about how to put on a show.

This week’s top 5 trending viral videos

The talk and focus this week is (rightfully so) on all films that made their rounds at the Sundance Film Festival. But the Internet meme machine never sleeps (its theme song: Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop), festival or no festival, so without further ado here are the top five videos starting to trend, and as the kids say “get its swoll on” this week.

5. If you’re a violinist and you are interrupted by an audience member’s cell phone loudly ringing during your solo performance, this is how you respond in a classy manner and in other words pwn this rude cell phone owner.

Transplants: Rolex mentor and protégé Tracy K. Smith & Hans Magnus Enzensberger

In many ways, they couldn’t be more different, a young California transplant writing poetry in Brooklyn and a titan of German thought. She is a professor at Princeton and he has made a public point of eschewing institutional life. But the year Tracy K. Smith spent with her Rolex Arts Initiative mentor Hans Magnus Enzensberger has transformed her literary life. The award-winning poet (author of collections including Life On Mars & The Body’s Question) has, under Enzensberger’s watchful eye, turned to prose and is writing a memoir.

A year of discovery: Rolex mentor and protégé Peter Sellars & Maya Zbib

Peter Sellars and Maya Zbib shared a year and circumnavigated the globe. The enfant terrible of the American stage is best known for his contemporary treatments of classical plays, including an industrial take on King Lear, and his groundbreaking direction of new operas. Both Sellars and his Rolex Arts Initiative protégé, Lebanese actor, writer and director Maya Zbib, believe that theater can do much more than entertain. They agree that it is an agent for social change. To emphasize this point, Sellars brought Zbib to the Congo. She brought him to Beirut.

The Sundance Review Revue: FILLY BROWN

Critics are divided on FILLY BROWN, but they agree on Gina Rodriguez, the actress who plays Filly and is being hailed as one of the breakout stars of this year’s Sundance Film Festival. Response to FILLY — a drama about a young woman trying to navigate the morally murky waters of the hip-hop game — has been decidedly mixed, but response to Rodriguez has been decidedly positive, suggesting she is one to watch, even if the film itself might not be.

Achieving something undiscovered: Rolex mentor and protégé Ben Frost & Brian Eno

Given Brian Eno stature in the music world, it would’ve been easy enough for him to simply play the producer role for his Rolex Arts Initiative protégé Ben Frost . It would’ve been a huge deal for the young, Australian composer and musician to get the same treatment as bands such as Talking Heads, U2, Robert Fripp and Coldplay, but the father of ambient music wanted to do something entirely new.

Snitches of Downtown Abbey

I feel like King Solomon on Sunday nights lately where I have to make the difficult decision as to whether I want to watch some NFL football or the latest pop culture rage (at least in some pastoral corners of the blogosphere). It just so happens to air on PBS, something you don’t hear too often. You know it’s a sensation when the New York Times does a trend piece on it, which they did with a recent article about viewing parties being held for this show. This phenomenon is a British import called Downtown Abbey.

Naked news: Sex and the City, high school cougars, and gaydar

• High school team can’t call themselves the Cougars because of its association with sexually-active, single, middle-aged women.
• Speaking of cougars and high school: Sex and the City pre-quel pilot on the CW is a go.

Robert Redford, Sundance and the State of the Union

America has got some issues and this year’s slate of Sundance films is full of stories about ‘em. Festival founder Robert Redford stopped by to talk with Sundance Channel about those issues, and he’s got some valuable insights into the role independent cinema has to play in sharing stories about them.

ARBITRAGE hopes to sell high at Sundance ’12

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, “arbitrage” is “the nearly simultaneous purchase and sale of securities or foreign exchange in different markets in order to profit from price discrepancies.” I don’t really understand what that means, so I am providing an alternate definition for the intelligence impaired. ARBITRAGE is “a dramatic thriller set in the world of high finance that is also one of the most buzzed about titles at this year’s Sundance Film Festival.” That’s a lot easier to understand, right? I think so. Let’s give Mr. Merriam and Lord Webster or whoever it is a ring and tell them it’s time to update that book.

This week’s top 5 trending viral videos

Sorry kids, the Shit People Say videos still aren’t going away (just this Wednesday a “Shit New Yorkers Say” appeared on the Tubes and of course was instantly shared by every New Yorker across the Twitbook), but here are five other videos trending this week that I think, nay guarantee that you will find equal to if not more entertaining.

5. One of my favorite YouTube channels belongs to someone who goes by the literal name of “LiteralMSPaint.” As the name suggests they apply their MS Paint skills to create music videos to inane pop dance songs and interprets the song lyrics literally. The MS Paint skills might be lacking but the comedy level is expert. Their latest takes on the inescapable LMFAO’s “Party Rock Anthem” and I just lost it and began LMFAO at the 1:00 mark.

And you thought Mississippi was conservative? Meet Mitt, Ron, Newt, & Rick

Women’s reproductive rights haven’t been this threatened by a group of Republican presidential hopefuls in decades. As Rachel Maddow summarized brilliantly the other night, Rick Santorum, “libertarian” Ron Paul, Newt Gingrich, and Rick Perry have all signed pledges backing the Personhood movement that aims to make all abortions illegal (even in the case of rape and incest) by defining fertilized eggs as people, which would in turn ban most forms of birth control. Mitt Romney hasn’t signed anything yet, nor did he attend the Presidential Prolife Forum in South Caroline this past Wednesday like all the others, but he did tell Mike Huckabee last October that he “absolutely” would have supported a personhood amendment to his state’s constitution when he was Governor of Massachusetts. Rick Santorum is the only one — so far — who’s actually said out loud that birth control is “not okay” and is a dangerous problem in this country, but that kind of thinking is basically built into the personhood movement (whether these candidates, who will say anything to appease their religious base, realize it or not). So you know where these guys stand.

GOP candidates summarized in hand signals

BuzzFeed (going increasingly political with their recent hiring of Ben Smith from Politico) has a hilarious photo recap of the recent GOP debates that’s focused on simply their hand gestures. My favorite is the one above of Romney displaying the “He Was THIS Tall” expression.

Valentine’s Day cards that don’t suck

Instead of waiting til the last minute like usual, why not get a jump start on some Valentine’s Day card ideas, you know, before Monday, February 13th sneaks up and cupid-arrows you in the ass?

• From Someecards, the king of irreverent greetings: e.g. “Sorry the only ring you’re wearing this Valentine’s Day is a contraceptive in your vagina” (that’s just one of 99 hilarious ones)
• Five DIY Valentine’s Day cards to make with the kids, collated by LilSugar.

Gay hip hop is here to stay: Syd tha Kid digs in

Last week, Odd Future affiliate, DJ, producer, singer, and overall badass Syd tha Kyd decided to do what young urban punks do in an interview, she flew off the handle giving her unedited opinions on the state of culture. And that’s a polite way to say Syd is frustrated at the lack of gay role models in urban music. She went as far as to question the legitimacy of Alicia Keys’ marriage, along with Queen Latifah and Missy Elliot’s sexuality. “You know she loves her some bitches,” is an exact quote.

Faces of rejected bachelorettes

No, Faces of Rejected Bachelorettes is not an antonomasia for the upcoming rom com BACHELORETTE starring Kirsten Dunst, Isla Fisher, and Lizzy Caplan (Party Down crush!) and premiering at this year’s Sundance Film Festival. Instead, FoRB is actually devoted to one of my shameful, guilty pleasures: Hi, my name is Matt and I’m addicted to the mainstream pop culture television phenomenon The Bachelor, which has had a rousing start to its new season.

Your weekend horoscope: Recharge your battery & and watch STAGE DOOR

Aries:
There are those who seem to enjoy watching the world pass by, like sweet retirees in Boca Raton, and then there’s you, Aries, who has a similar approach to life, just without all the floral hats and accessories. But this week is ripe for the social networker in you to succeed. So put down the sunscreen, turn off the television and go on out and mingle. With all the major planets in forward rotation the energy around you is bursting with positive energy. Dust off the screenplay and shop it around again, you may have better luck this time. Eccentric people have entered your life recently and this can mean all the difference. You never know, someone might ask you to write the next CARNAGE. So hustle, baby.

Top 5 that have nothing to do with s#!* people say

Oh-em-gee, the Shit Girls Say copycat videos aren’t going away. If you’re sick of them, here are five brand-spankin’ new videos burning up the Internet and set to go “viral” this week thanks to our collective boredom and tendency to procrastinate (not me though).

5. Quadron’s cover of Lauryn Hill’s “Ex-Factor,” you know, only one of the greatest songs of our generation, is super and the reactions of my friends who I forwarded this to have been “wowwww” on one end and “why am I tearing up” on the other of the spectrum. I love the stripped down sound of their version. Also, a killer voice of Coco O. on vocals doesn’t hurt it either.