The other week we explained how evolutionary psychology can be so annoying sometimes, what with all its assumptions about modern-day dating and mating behavior based on hunter-gatherer societies. Sure, sometimes those theories are fascinating and even enlightening, but sometimes they’re just plain wrong.
Well, here’s another one for the “assume makes an ass of u and me” file: Researchers studying cheating assumed that men would feel guiltier about emotional infidelity while women would feel guiltier about sexual infidelity — because, the theory went, men know that women place a high value on emotional loyalty, and women know that men’s sex drive is supposedly more biologically hard-wired. Sugar and spice and all things nice, etc.
Turns out, the results didn’t fit quite so neatly into that little theory. In fact, the research showed the exact opposite: Men felt guiltier after sexual infidelity, and women after emotional infidelity. Which actually makes a whole lot more sense to us — you feel guilty about the thing that would hurt you the most, rather than about the thing that would hurt your partner the most. Cheating is the ultimate selfish act, so why should the guilt associated with it be empathetic in any way?
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May 12th, 2009 - 9:58 am
[...] Edwards feel bad that his wife is the one answering and addressing questions for his mistakes? Em & Lo note that researchers studying cheating assumed that men would feel guiltier about emotional infidelity while women would feel guiltier [...]
May 23rd, 2009 - 4:35 am
wow, I need to start getting paid to do studies. This seems like a no-brainer. How many times have we heard a woman say “the fact that he fell in love with her is way worse than the sex”? Of course that’s what hurts us the most – that’s what we covet the most. Any women can get a man with sexual prowess, but for a woman to “steal” our man b/c he falls in LOVE with her…that’s a whole different story.
June 8th, 2009 - 12:11 pm
[...] why we do the things we do in bed? They’ve debunked the beer goggles theory, taught us that even cheaters’ guilt is selfish, and confirmed Paula Abdul’s hypothesis that opposites attract. And the latest breaking news [...]
July 17th, 2009 - 2:52 pm
[...] sex studies. On the one hand, they’re the bread and butter of this Naked Love blog (to wit: Study shows even cheaters’ guilt is selfish; Study shows the car doesn’t maketh the man; Study [...]