Ok kids, I have to be honest. I was not looking forward to Fashion’s Night Out. I imagined piles of Neds from Newark pushing their way through shops hoping to catch a glimpse of an Olsen. I could envision hooligans bombarding stores and guzzling free booze then leaving. I foresaw pandemonium.

How wrong I was! Well, granted I didn’t even attempt to darken the door of Bergdorf’s with the line around the block. But the events I did attend were quite swank and terribly amusing!

As a matter of fact, I was so impressed that I am publicly demanding that Anna Wintour for now and forever be in charge of Gay Pride. Yes! This was probably one of the gayest nights in recorded history. I’m renaming it Gay’s Night Out.

Let me explain.

After stopping off at Assouline at 6:30 to congratulate Robert Bryan on his new menswear book I tottered over to Fifth Avenue to see the whole street alive. Music was pumping from every store, ladies in glittery dresses were darting to and fro and booze was being poured in every doorway. It was a gay man’s dream come true! And it just got better.

My troupe arrived at Juicy Couture to be greeted by swarms of flappers and faux mustachioed waiters. We all found the champagne and headed to the back of the room to wait for the main event. Soon, a piano began tinkling and flappers started flapping and out pops Hamish Bowles onto the podium were he belts out Noel Coward tunes. It was his Susan Boyle moment! Who knew he could sing?

Our hostess for the evening was Juicy founder, Gela Nash-Taylor, dressed in cock feathers, diamonds and a bias cut gown with train. After a rousing round of songs Gela and Hamish perform a duet with lots of ‘boo boopa doops’ and ‘wackadoo whackadoos’ and some ‘whoa deee ohs’ thrown in for good measure. Bring it on Busby Berkeley!

Next we skedaddled over to Barneys for another gay-tastic event. Justin Bond was on the ladies designer floor singing songs from his/her new album dressed in custom Rodarte with the designers clapping wildly in front row. On the same floor Isabel and Ruben Toledo were signing books and Ruben was doing portraits of each buyer. Talk about tedious. I know, they are straight, but I would still want them to be the grand marshals of Gay’s Night Out.

After this I had to head home. Sensory overload! I was sorry to miss Joey Arias singing at YSL but I’m hoping he will be available next year when I’m sure Ms. Wintour will follow my advice and head up a whole new side of Pride. It’s all there — Shopping! Drinking! Singing! Merry making!

I teetered uptown on Madison, starving and exhausted and couldn’t find anything open so I popped into Louboutin where my dear friend Shawna Rose was hosting an event. She took me under her wing and into the back where she served me cold pizza and La Duree macaroons. Divine! I can just see the drag queens marching into Louboutin on Gay’s Night Out and popping on some pumps for a twirl downtown. Christian, are you listening?