RE: Flying: Confessions of a Free woman
View: thread | inline
-
RE: Flying: Confessions of a Free woman Posted on May 17 2008 at 11:25pm by I would it to say, "Hi, how the heck are ya., what's for dinner. Where you been hiding yourself, friend. Come on over and set a while.
" [www.myspace.com]
Well, my darlins', it's another Saturday night, and I ain't got nobody. I'm admittedly bored with the programming that the Sundance C. has to offer 'til until round midnight. It's time for me to break down and follow my dear girl Jennifer Fox's suggestion, and visit the Sundance site and blog my heart out. Thing is, there has been no way to enter the "proper" blogging area, so here I am, all by my lonesome it seems, launching a discussion. It looks as is a discussion is several steps below a blog in ranks. When I contributed a bit of writing to the
Flying:Confessions of a ... site, I broke my blogging cherry. So here I am with the big girls, Sundance no less. But this is just a "discussion." Does that mean that no one will ever visit here, like the way Tribeca was 20 years ago, before the onslaught of the moneyed crowds. In the days when cabbies denied fares below Canal street after a certain hour, knowing that the Wall Street area became a ghost town at 6PM, dangerous at 7, unmentionable at 8.
As I write, I almost can hear my words echoing through the night. Fox and myself enjoyed the night of the first airing of Flying laughing together at my retreat in Cobble Hill, Brooklyn. When I moved here, about 15 years ago, it was just downtown Brooklyn. Having grown up in Brooklyn, having to return here from Manhattan because of finances was like "Welcome Back Kotter," but there was nobody welcoming me back. Our Monday together, fox's and mine, was sweet. For all the ups and downs that a long and complicated relationship like ours had endured, the comfort of having each other to depend on, without any pomp and circumstance is good. She endured her film, and I endured my brain tumor again, and my whining one more time, this time in the comfort of my living room. Last Monday night, I didn't remember that the film was airing. It had been effected me though out the week and in my dreams in an unexpected way. Each time that I heard one of those snippets of a tune, you know, the original bands that Sundance likes to place between features, I became bitter, sometimes resigned, often pissed. I remembered meeting the nice folks at Sundance at the Festival. Everyone I met was swell. I handed out at least ten of my CD's. Everyone said, "Great, great!" Of course, I instinctively knew that no one would listen, and for the most part, the CD's would end up in the waste pans. But we gotta think positive, right! After all, that's show biz! "Why, I found myself saying to myself, "Why couldn't they find 20 seconds to play some of my music?" After all, my music is FANTASTIC! And I had a brain tumor fer crissakes! And Tony Bennett said that I was the BEST!" Dear reader, I know that this sounds completely ridiculous. But it's not even the TIP of the proverbial iceberg. If I were to reveal what really what goes on in my ratty little mind, no one would speak to me again. And I need all the friends that I can get. Oh, I know that if soundbite of one of my songss was played, it wouldn't do much for my non existent musical career, but, it would make me feel so much better. SOO much better. Like I said, that's show biz.
www.mypace.com/patcisarano
-
RE: Flying: Confessions of a Free woman Posted on May 19 2008 at 12:42am by Pat, your music really is so great. You have some serious major league vocal cords!
One of the reasons I've really loved watching Flying thus far is because the connection that you and Jen is so radiant on screen - you can see that the two of you are so close and really care about each other. It reminds of me how close I am with my friends! My girlfriends and I happened to be hanging out and found ourselves watching the first two parts a couple weeks ago, and then we made sure to all get together last week to watch the next two. I can't wait to see them all tomorrow to watch the last two! We have so much fun riding the emotional roller coaster with Jen, and I think Jen and all of her friends remind us so much of ourselves, and I bet we are not the only ones! :)RE: Flying: Confessions of a Free woman Posted on May 21 2008 at 1:37pm by My Dear Sweet Jane,
You couldn't imagine my amazement when I saw that someone responded to my post. After all, it's not in the group with the other FLYING blogs, in fact, you, your girls, and me, seem to be tin a world of our own.
Great big thanks for your kind words about my pipes. I appreciate that. Don't take this as a plug. If you are curious, there's lot's of my recorded music on the myspace site. The sound is very good, and the songs are all my own.
I watched some of the last episode. I wanted to catch my Mikey. He is so gorgeous on camera. That was about 6 years ago. Today he's a father with a fabulous 5 month old baby girl. Some smart woman was going to scoop him up eventually, I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
This last televised episode was more difficult than I thought that it would be. Is it a vanity issue? With my dreadlocks gone, and total the mess that the surgery left my face, I don't recognize the woman I'm seeing in that box. She resembles the older women of my family, but.. . Fortunately, due to lot's of exercises, my face is back to being almost symmetrical. Since I dropped a lot of the excess weight, the chins are gone. I believe that the surgery has hastened the normal aging process, and it pisses me off.
I haven't been ruminating over these issues, no. This has been the effect of the TV version of Flying, of examining myself so closely. Growing up with a catholic school education, before entering the darkness of the confessional, we were taught that a good child must "examine her conscience." Now, in the darkness of my living room, on the comfort of my sofa, I find myself examining my face, and every single flaw that the brutal honesty of TV forces me to see.
I don't like it.
The ending of the story makes it look as if everything is swell with my career. Not true. Things have changed radically in the years since I'd been "away." The work isn't there anymore, not like it was pre-2001, which was the year that I checked out. I continue to plug away, and every day I expect a miracle. Doesn't everyone?
-