If you celebrated Thanksgiving like any American family—with the arguments and the sweet potatoes — you may have caught A Very Gaga Thanksgiving. I watched it and it was weirdly macabre and oddly lit. I loved it because I hated it; I hated it because I loved it. The Katie Couric interview! The 12 costume changes! The salami waffles and the interpretive dancing! The only bad thing about it is she’s not doing one for Christmas. But, I’m like Santa Claus and I give gifts, so I’m planning a Christmas special for her.
Curtain — Lady Gaga comes out of a long hallway wearing a tree, or IS a tree. A tree covered in dildos. She breaks out in “Bad Romance” as everybody in the world freaks out. She still does that song! We love that she still does that song! She’s standing inside a gingerbread house that is made up men wearing gold body paint and gold spandex booty shorts. Instead of singing the highest WANT YOUR BAD ROMANCE right where she catches fire in the vid, she sings WANTS A WHITE CHRISTMAS! And we all nod because yes, because who doesn’t want a white Christmas.