Article: The classy way to give a dirty gift on Valentine's Day
What’s a recession-friendly Valentine’s Day gift that will always be received gladly? Unilateral oral sex is a pretty good bet. Or perhaps a half-hour massage with no pressure to reciprocate. Or maybe dressing up as a cowboy and doing your best BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN impression. But how do you make such generous sexual offers feel like an actual gift that you planned in advance — as opposed to a last-minute, oh-shit-I-didn’t-make-it-to-the-mall-in-time present? A hand-written promise to talk dirty, unabated, for 20 minutes is kind of sweet (at least, it is if that’s your partner’s bag), but it can come across as a little half-hearted. A little unofficial, if you will. No witnesses, no signatures in blood, etc.
