bears

One of the best things about being gay is that if you find yourself getting all fat and hairy, you can just call yourself a “bear” and become part of a highly desirable subculture of the subculture. It’s actually a step up from being just an average gay!

And if you haven’t gotten fat but still want to be a bear, that’s OK too. The term “bear” doesn’t necessarily connote someone with extra poundage, as long as the pounds you’ve got aren’t shaved, and as long as you carry whatever figure you have with the requisite “masculine” demeanor—or at least the appearance of such as you swagger, slug down a beer, chomp on a cigar, and defy anyone to call you names (except “bear”).