I find that the older I get, the more I hear my friends and peers express a general ennui with their careers. I suppose it’s understandable. It can be tough to go from “you can be whatever you want to be!” to “here’s your office and don’t leave until you finish that memo.” We all eventually get pigeonholed into a box of one kind or another (more on the box in a minute). Even at parties and social gatherings, it’s less about who we are as individuals and more about “what we do.”
Last October, when Jeff Ragsdale, an out-of-work actor and stand-up comedian, got dumped by his girlfriend — the kind of breakup that puts your heart through the blender — he decided to crowd-source his loneliness. He posted flyers all around Lower Manhattan that read, “If anyone wants to talk about anything, call me… Jeff, One Lonely Guy.” His cellphone number was listed at the bottom of the flyer in little tabs that strangers could tear off — anyone who’s familiar with New York will be used to seeing these kinds of flyers offering dog-walking services or futons for sale, etc.
Article: 29 sex tips from 29 sexperts
College Candy recently asked us along with a bunch of other sex writers to contribute a sex tip, the kind of thing “that you wish your friends/boyfriends/ex’s would tell you – not the tips that you read in magazines that are impossible to achieve (rope swing in my bedroom…say what?!).” They also asked everyone to submit a “HILARIOUS” picture.
The GWLBWLB objective is to have fun.
Symbiotic relationships have proven successful in the ongoing battle against natural selection. Take, for instance, the Clown Fish and Sea Anemone or the Homosexual Male and his Best Girlfriend. Both bonds persevere thanks to a certain chemistry. For gay men and straight women it may have something to do with their mutual attraction to men (sometimes the same one), but perhaps it’s deeper, as if nature, or some ‘Intelligent Designer,’ thought to create an ideal way for the sexes to coexist.
Article: How sexually adventurous are you?
photo via Flickr Sex advice site GoodInBed.com recently conducted a survey on boredom in long-term relationships and how that effects sex. The survey of about 3000 mostly hetero men and women found that 25% of the sample reported feeling bored in their relationship, with an additional 25% of the sample on the brink of boredom;…
Article: The 10 types of sex dreams
Freud, Schmroid. If you’re looking for a good book on the interpretation of dreams, check out the brand new one by our friend Lauri Loewenberg, the nicest dream interpreter you’ll ever meet! Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams, Change Your Life (published by St. Martin’s Press) features hundreds of real dream interpretations and a comprehensive dream symbol dictionary to help you understand and make the most of your nocturnal visions, especially the sexy ones. There’s an entire chapter dedicated to sex dreams, which Lauri says are often “not about a physical union you want, but rather a psychological union you need!” There are 10 kinds of sex dreams; below are 5 of them; check out Dream On It for the other five archetypes (The Friend, The Same Gender, Oral Sex, Family Members, and Masturbation):
The Mystery Lover — This is the most common of all sex dreams. Many of us wonder if this dream is actually a glimpse of our soul mate who might be out there somewhere waiting for us. Alas, t’is not so. But what is so is that the unknown, faceless man or woman that often appears in our dreams does indeed hold significance….Our dreams have a cool way of showing us the different parts of our personality in the form of a person so we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and what makes us tick. That being said, the mystery lover in your dreams is the embodiment, the personification of the qualities we tend to associate with that gender….Throughout life we struggle to incorporate the right balance of each [gender] into our personalities and behavior. A man wants to be caring and understanding, yet he doesn’t want to be a sissy. A woman wants to assert herself, yet she doesn’t want to be labeled the B word! Our mystery lover dreams are guiding us towards that perfect balance of firm and gentle, bold and caring, yin and yang.
Article: Books: Every Rose Has Its Thorn
We really should have some kind of back-stabbing, cat-fighting (or at least pillow-fighting) relationship with Erin Bradley — author of the new book Every Rose Has Its Thorn: The Rock ‘n’ Roll Field Guide to Guys — seeing as she picked up where we left off at Nerve.com. She’s been their advice lady now for five years. But we’re bigger people than that. Okay, we’re not, but she’s really sweet and very funny and gives solid advice — what’s not to like?
The book examines ten different types of guys, based on rock stars you know and love-slash-hate, as a means of giving straight women advice about their dating and sex lives. In other words, there’s a lot to be learned from trying to figure out if Morrissey would make a better boyfriend or booty call. If we were to judge a book by its cover, we’d never have picked this one up. But fortunately we’re not that superficial (and fortunately it’s much cooler-looking inside). Here are some of our favorite quotes about the ten different types covered in the book:
Violet Blue has written about a zillion books on the subject of sex, but finally there’s one you can discuss with your grandmother: Seal It with a Kiss: Tips, Tricks, and Techniques for Delivering the Knockout Kiss. Seeing as the national smooch holiday is almost upon us, we thought we’d check in with Violet for some of her best snogging advice.
Article: Our new sex tape is out! Hi Mom!
About a year and a half ago, we lost our innocence as hosts of a 10-episode UK TV series called “SEX: How to Do Everything.” We consider ourselves fairly prudish sex writers, so you can imagine our shock when the series turned out to be way more explicit than we (or our parents) would have ever had hoped for.
Orgasm diagram by Daquella Manera
We’ll be the first to admit that “science” is a generous word to use when it comes to some of the sex research out there — and that if a sex study sounds too good to be true, then it probably is. But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t kernels of truth to be found in even the flimsiest of surveys. So here are our top 10 new year’s resolutions inspired by the year in sex research.
Do more housework — both of you.
Do your homework and buy decent condoms.
Take up yoga.
Invest in a better mattress.
photo via Foxtongue
Who said that a new year’s resolution had to involve giving up something you enjoy? Rehab is for quitters! Here’s a novel idea: take on some booty-related resolutions instead. We’ve compiled two lists of resolutions, depending on whether you’re single or loved-up. Learn them, live them, love them…
If you’re in a LTR (or monogamish)…
No more faking in bed. And we don’t just mean orgasms–no more pretending that you like something you don’t, either (“Oooh yeah baby that feels so good when you yank on my pubes”). For inspiration, check out all the real orgasms at Beautiful Agony.
Vow to never ask yourself, “Is this normal?” in bed.
Phone sex — just do it. (You can baby-step your way there via dirty talk and text-sex.)
photo by Average Jane Forget charades, let’s debate the Stupak Amendment! So what made you guys decide not to circumcise your son? No Brussels sprouts for me, thanks — we’re planning on anal tonight and I don’t want to be gassy. Hoo-boy, anyone got a box of matches I could borrow for the bathroom? I…
Article: Books: So Sue Me, Jackass!
You know all those questions that you really want to ask when you meet a lawyer at a cocktail party? But you restrain yourself because you figure it’s not polite to ask a complete stranger whether you could get sued if you broke someone’s penis during sex. Well, our friend Robin Epstein and her sister Amy Epstein Feldman have written a book to save you the embarrassment: So Sue Me, Jackass! Avoiding Legal Pitfalls That Can Come Back to Bite You at Work, at Home, and at Play. “At Play” being our favorite topic, of course — like, who gets to keep the ring in a broken engagement? Are you really “common law married” if you live together for seven years? Can you claim temporary insanity and get out of your marriage if you were drunk when you said “I do”? And why the hell do mattresses have tags that say “Do not remove under penalty of law”? Anyway, about that broken penis…
photo via boingboing A foodie friend of boingboing is so proud of his well-stocked, well-labeled, spotless refrigerator that he uses a photo of its interior instead of a headshot on online dating sites, and emails the pic to women he’s wooing. Leaving aside the fact that a tub of pork fat immediately limits your dating pool (though…
photo by Lara604
It’s Mother’s Day this Sunday — don’t forget to call and thank her for all the wonderful advice.
Always wear clean underwear.
Trim your fingernails and wash your hands thoroughly and often. (It’ll help you avoid infection and make you less likely to tear delicate internal linings during manual sex.)