Rick “Hair Helmet” Perry – he’s everywhere lately! (But we’re with Jon Stewart: why he gets so much attention while consistent third-placer Ron Paul gets nil is beyond us.) So we’re overdosing a bit on the big P – and the more we hear, the more frightened we get. Check out this YouTube clip where he struggles to answer a legitimate question: why does Texas continue to teach abstinence-only programs when they don’t work, since Texas has one of the highest rates of teen pregnancy in the nation? (The Young Turks give the clip some context.) You’ll get serious flashbacks to George W: the little laugh, the head shake, the grasping at straws. And no, that’s not your video buffering — he actually freezes several times as his brain tries to defy rationality and logic. If that’s not enough of Perry’s ass-backwards views on sexuality for you, check out the section on homosexuality from his 2008 book “On My Honor,” his defense of the Boys Scouts’ “American values” (read: prejudice).
A new study shows that delaying sex until marriage will lead to a more satisfying and stable relationship, according to researchers at — get this — Brigham Young University. That’s the right, the university whose honor code bans porn, gay sex, sex outside of marriage, cussing, sleeveless shirts, alcohol, cigarettes, coffee, and tea (tea!) claims to have science on its side. Apparently couples who had sex the earliest — after the first date, say, or even in the first month of dating — had the worst relationship outcomes.
Okay, we admit it: When we first read about an abstinence video game in development down in Florida, we were ready to jump all over what a ridiculous idea it was. As if abstinence-only education needed to be removed even further from reality! As if abstinence-only education really deserved another $434,000 federal dollars! Etc.
We guess it was only a matter of time before the true-love-waits crew decided to use sex to sell abstinence. After all, if sex can sell anything — even, ew, toilet paper — why shouldn’t it be used to promote the very absence of sex? That’s so po-mo our heads hurt. But here’s what really…